How to Tackle College Essays and Overcome Alcohol Addiction

College essays and alcohol addiction may seem like two completely unrelated topics, but they both share a common thread: the need for focus and discipline. Writing a successful college essay requires dedication and commitment, just like overcoming alcohol addiction. In both cases, it’s important to have a plan, set goals, and stay accountable. However, alcohol addiction can be a much more complex issue, often requiring professional help and support. In this article, we will explore how to apply the same principles of focus and discipline to both college essays and alcohol addiction, and provide resources for those struggling with addiction.

Combating Alcohol Addiction and Crafting a Successful College Essay

Alcohol addiction and the college admissions process may seem like two unrelated topics, but they both require a significant amount of dedication and effort to overcome. While one may seem more daunting than the other, they both have the potential to affect an individual’s future in profound ways. In this article, we will explore the connection between alcohol abuse and college essays, and provide tips on how to overcome addiction while also crafting a compelling personal statement for college admissions. By addressing both of these issues simultaneously, individuals can break the cycle of addiction while also setting themselves up for success in their academic and personal lives.

College essay and alcohol abuse are two topics that may seem unrelated, but they share a common theme: overcoming challenges. Writing a college essay can be a daunting task, as it requires introspection, creativity, and careful attention to detail. Similarly, alcohol abuse and addiction can be difficult to overcome, as it often involves a long and challenging process of recovery.

In this guide, we will explore strategies for overcoming addiction and crafting a winning college essay. We will discuss the importance of seeking professional help for alcohol abuse, as well as the benefits of support groups and therapy. Additionally, we will provide tips for writing a strong college essay, such as brainstorming ideas, creating an outline, and revising drafts.

By combining these two topics, we hope to provide a comprehensive guide to success that addresses both the personal and academic challenges that many individuals face. Whether you are struggling with addiction or just starting your college essay, this guide will offer practical advice and encouragement to help you achieve your goals.

How Writing a College Essay Can Help Overcome Alcohol Addiction

Alcohol addiction can be a difficult battle to fight, but there are ways to overcome it. One effective method is through writing a college essay. While writing may not seem like the obvious solution, the act of putting thoughts and emotions onto paper can be a powerful tool in the recovery process. This essay can serve as a reflection on past experiences and a roadmap for the future, helping individuals to identify triggers, understand their own behaviors, and develop coping mechanisms. By exploring the connection between college essay writing and alcohol addiction recovery, we can learn how to break the cycle and move forward towards a healthier, happier life.

Alcohol abuse is a serious problem that affects millions of people worldwide. It can cause a range of physical and mental health problems, as well as social and financial issues. Getting rid of addiction requires a great amount of effort and dedication. One effective way to overcome alcohol addiction is by writing college essays. College essays can serve as a therapeutic tool to help individuals process their thoughts and emotions related to their addiction. This title combines two seemingly unrelated topics, but the connection between them is clear. Through writing, individuals can confront their addiction and take steps towards recovery. This essay will explore the connection between college essays and overcoming alcohol addiction and how it can help those struggling with addiction break the cycle.

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This problem has existed for so long that mankind’s accumulated knowledge and experience convincingly tell us that a drug addict, an alcoholic and a person addicted to gambling are people who have a chronic, severe disease called INDEPENDENCE.

But everyone is an addict for some reason, you may argue. Where is the line that separates habit from disease? Addiction to drugs, alcohol or games completely dominates the person, causes deep personal changes and adversely affects all aspects of human life (physical, psychological, social and spiritual) leading to a logical outcome. And the outcome is complete personal degradation, disability, prison, and, unfortunately, an inevitable early death.

Let us consider a typical path of an addict.

Sooner or later the person who uses alcohol or drugs necessarily faces various problems (health deterioration, conflicts with relatives, lack of money, difficulties at work, studies, etc.). Then there is a desire to control the use, to reduce the dose, to switch to a “lighter” drug etc. After several unsuccessful attempts to do this and when the number of problems exceeds a “critical level”, the addict finally comes to the conclusion that it is IMPOSSIBLE to CONTROL consumption and that the only way to get out of this vicious circle is to STOP INVOLVING. Then, as a rule, he starts promising his family and himself, “I won’t use anymore! I will pull myself together! I will find the willpower!”. But since addiction is a disease, not a bad habit, a breakdown sooner or later inevitably occurs. What happens next? An addicted person, under the pressure of accumulated problems (with health, family, finances, work, etc.) goes to the clinic and enters “detox”. As a rule, his goal is simply to “break down”, to relieve unpleasant physical symptoms that occur when he stops using, and only at the expense of detoxification to recover. After all, both the addict himself and his relatives want to believe that only physical indisposition prevents him from being sober and “getting his life back on track”. In practice, however, this does not work. The addict resumes drug use – again detoxification – again unfulfilled promises and hopes – another breakdown – etc. The addict and their loved ones may go around this circle for years, until they realize that it is impossible to solve the complex problem of DEEPness by relieving acute withdrawal symptoms or a hangover. Let’s take a closer look at this.

It is important to know that the withdrawal period is divided into two stages:

1.Acute, depending on the dose and the substance, from 3 to 10 days (hospital detoxification under the “classic scheme” or BOD).

During this period there are such phenomena as mood swings, “emotional swinging”, irritability, depression, insomnia, “dry withdrawal”, memory disorders, absent-mindedness, intrusive thoughts and dreams about using, “irresistible” craving for drugs, alcohol or games. Against this background the addict inevitably faces life problems resulting from his use, previous social environment, “friends” who use, various trigger situations (i.e. addictive ones) and lack of sobriety skills. All these factors in aggregate lead sooner or later to a natural relapse of the disease, i.e. a return to drug or alcohol use with 100% probability. Taking all this into account, it becomes clear why even those addicts who have passed the stage of detoxification, seemingly understanding the need to give up drugs and sincerely wishing to get rid of addiction, return to the use, and then to the clinic again and again.

What happens next? Gradually, after repeating the “detox” scenario for many times (those who manage to survive, and usually 2-3 out of 10) they come to the realization that the problem of addiction is much more serious than just physical discomfort related to stopping drug use. This is because the foundation of any addiction is SUSPENSION psychologically. The psychological component of addiction includes:

• Psychological personality traits that once led to the initiation of drug use and now contribute to the development and continuation of the disease
• a rigid false attitude developed in the process of using that any problems and difficulties “can easily be solved” by using, low stress-resistance
• “selective memory” – an addict quickly forgets the negative consequences of his or her use, however severe they may have been
• Craving – recurrent strong desire to “get high”
• Obsessive thoughts and memories of their drug use, which seem to “pop into their head” as if “by themselves
• dreams related to drug use
• Inadequate emotional reactions (aggression, anger, irritability, boredom, apathy etc.)
• and many other things…

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This article will help to understand the concept of “addictive behavior” and its direct manifestation. The impact of addiction on a person’s life and how to get rid of it will be touched upon.

What is “addictive behavior”?
Addiction = relief. That is the easiest way to explain it. If we approach it scientifically, then addictive behavior is one type of deviant behavior that is characterized by the subordination of one’s entire life to a single interest. A person experiences an irresistible craving for a certain substance, object or type of activity, which causes him a state of euphoria. Addiction to a chosen object allows one to escape from real life by changing the focus of one’s attention.

Why does addiction equate to relief? It’s simple, a person seeks the object of their desire in every way, because nothing else gives them so much joy, and getting it, falls into ecstasy. Psychologists say that in this way people are trying to stifle their inner pain, to escape from it by changing their mental state.

If the object of dependence for some reason is not available, the very real “withdrawal” begins, regardless of whether the person is an addict, depends on food or work. It is expressed in extremely painful sensations that arise throughout the body, causing panic attacks, depression and neurosis.

Why does addiction destroy?
Logically, addictive behavior cannot be called the norm of a mentally healthy person. Rather, it is a form of deviance that involves shifting one’s attention to inanimate objects or substances, replacing simple human interaction with them. Literally everything the addict learns and achieves in life goes side by side with the object of addiction.

It is clear that alcohol or drug addiction directly affects physical health, but most people do not see the harm of workaholism or fanatical sporting activities. The main thing to understand is that if a person cannot stop, going headlong into his occupation, this is the first sign of addictive behavior.

In addition to physical harm, mental exhaustion sets in. It affects the overall condition of the body, causing headaches, heartaches, constant tension, and in some cases, arrhythmias and loss of consciousness.

Thus, drug addiction causes elevated levels of dopamine (the hormone that causes a rush of joy and happiness) to become the norm in a depleted body. A person begins to feel anxious about it, which is almost impossible to cope with. Not infrequently in such situations it ends in suicide.

How does a person become a slave?
A person does not immediately become a slave to his passions and habits. Whether it is game addiction, alcohol addiction or food addiction, they all come after some time. Specialists distinguish four stages in the formation of such behavior:

The first stage

This is the very beginning of addiction, the formation of its beginnings. At this stage the acquaintance with the sensations that the chosen object gives takes place. In the case of alcohol addiction this is a feeling of lightness and euphoria, when “the sea is knee-deep” and “mountains are on your shoulders”, and with game addiction this is an unusual excitement from the expectation of winning.

One realizes that one does not have to make any special effort to change one’s mood, because there are quick ways to do it all the time. It makes one want to come back again and again.

Stage Two

This stage involves the formation of a habit in the use of the chosen mind-altering remedy. The person uses it with a certain frequency, which depends on the frequency of the onset of that psychological state that led him to such behavior. This may be due to the following factors:

• Personality characteristics that were formed before the acquisition of addiction;
• standard of living;
• level of upbringing and culture;
• certain life events, most often a shock or loss of a loved one;
• environment, including social ties with people.
• It is important to understand that the more often the person takes a mental-altering substance or object, the more he/she withdraws from any interpersonal relationships. Later on, any little thing, be it a quarrel with relatives or a bruised foot in transport, provokes them to use them.

Stage Three

If a person has reached this stage, it means that addictive behavior has become a norm of life and is firmly embedded in their daily affairs and habits. For example, drug addiction becomes an inseparable part of the personality, merging with it into a single whole. Such people do not accept criticism in any form and it is practically impossible to dissuade them. They are so desirous to change their mental condition that no obstacles, including problems of close people or banal lack of money, are able to stop them on this way.

The fourth stage

The fourth stage is full immersion into the new environment, which leads to complete isolation from other people. The addict loses the ability of even usual household communication, not to mention more close attachments. The main thing is that the object of addiction no longer brings the former pleasure, which leads to an increase in the intensity of its use.

A little later there is a complete destruction of the personality, right down to the basic biological processes. If it is an alcohol addiction, intoxication will affect almost all vital internal organs, causing complete exhaustion of the body. The addict will lose touch with reality and nothing will give him pleasure. Constant apathy appears, and any relationships with people become completely impossible.

How to become free?
It is very difficult, and in some cases almost impossible, to free oneself from the state of addictive behavior. You will have to take a long and difficult road on the way to full recovery. Addiction treatment consists of the following steps:

• The first step involves complete and unconditional honesty, primarily with yourself. You will have to compose an internal dialogue, in which the person must admit the problem and clearly decide to get rid of it. The main thing is to find your motivation. Without it, any endeavor awaits failure.
• The second step leads to the necessary changes in life. The person will have to find the cause of their addiction in order to understand what they need to get rid of. In some cases, this involves giving up one’s usual social circle or even changing one’s place of residence. All stressful situations need to be minimized as much as possible. You will also have to get rid of all the rituals that go side by side with each addiction. For example, a gambling addiction develops stronger if even the most innocuous of its manifestations are not eliminated. It is necessary to remove from sight all attributes that are associated with gambling – cards, chips and even delete mobile applications.
• The third step is to return to society. At this stage, you need to find people who will help you get rid of your addiction. Most often they are professional psychologists or people who have been through similar trials.
• The fourth step is very important, because at this step an addict learns to love and accept himself all over again. It is necessary to make a certain plan, which should include a gradual transition to a correct way of life.

There is no need to expect that addiction treatment will happen quickly and painlessly, because the addiction was formed not one day. The main thing in any case – it is a setting for the result. Only in this case you can succeed, even if there are breakdowns.

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Co-dependency may not occur in every person. The potential co-dependent has an inherent predisposition to this condition. As a rule, he is mentally unstable, overprotective, excuses the alcoholic, solves all his problems. Against this background, the alcoholic does not try to change his life because, in his opinion, everything is fine.

Alcohol treatment for an addict is not effective as long as there is a co-dependent person next to him. He, like the alcoholic, has psychological disorders and also requires treatment.

Signs of co-dependence
Co-dependency in alcoholism can be easily identified by signs such as:

Compulsive desire to help the alcoholic: seeking a solution to the problem, even if it is not necessary at all.
Attempts to force the alcoholic to behave in a certain way: orders, rules, conditions of behavior.
Feeling of guilt: accepting the alcoholic’s ailment as one’s own fault. Feeling that the person began to use alcohol due to the co-dependent’s fault.
Low self-esteem: develops because of the inability to manage one’s life and constant tension.
Failure to accept and ignore their own desires and interests: the ability to control their own destiny is lost. Personal life of the co-dependent is relegated to the background.
Unstable behavior: tearfulness, rudeness, bouts of aggression, hidden anger and rage.
Fixation on the person of the alcoholic: life revolves around the drinker. It is impossible for the family to bring acquaintances to visit, because it is unknown what state the alcoholic is in, what he will do this time. Everything adjusts to the life of the alcoholic.
Pathological concentration: the co-dependent is constantly focused, he subconsciously guesses or waits to see if the alcoholic is already drunk.
Attempts to pressure the drinking person: constant reproaches and admonitions toward the alcoholic. Emotional outbursts, threats, demonstrative behavior during arguments. If the alcoholic is told off by others, the co-dependent, on the contrary, defends him/her.
Imposing unnecessary help: constant control of the alcoholic’s behavior. Excessive tutelage leads to the addict’s lack of autonomy.
Denial of the problem: the co-dependent does not understand that he is in no less bad shape than the alcoholic and does not accept help.
Lack of desire to take care of themselves: the co-dependent stops communicating with friends, spending time on his or her appearance and on life in general.
Depressive states: constant tension leads to depression, apathy or thoughts, suicide attempts.
Non-acceptance of the self: the co-dependent generalizes himself with the alcoholic and applies the pronoun “we” rather than “me” to himself. He claims that: “We are on the road to recovery,” “We are expected at the hospital,” etc.
Patterns of co-dependent behavior
Different symptoms of co-dependency are characteristic of a particular pattern of behavior:

savior;
stalker;
martyr.
The savior convinces himself that he can and must help the addict. At the same time his actions do not bring benefit at all or make minimal effect. Subconsciously such people want to instill a sense of addiction in the alcoholic in order to establish complete control over him.

The persecutor wants to cure the alcoholic by any means necessary. In order to do this, he applies strict measures of control, establishing rules of behavior. The co-dependent pressures the alcoholic, intimidates him, threatens physical violence.

The martyr chooses the role of the victim. He is satisfied with this life and the state of affairs. He enjoys the pity of his friends and acquaintances. Those are a “shoulder to cry on” for the co-dependent.

Whatever the co-dependent’s pattern of behavior may be, he will do even more harm to the alcoholic. In addition, he ruins his own life.

What are the dangers of co-dependence
Co-dependency in alcoholism is a severe mental disorder. Sometimes it is easier to cure an alcoholic than a co-dependent who is around him.

Co-dependency leads to:

Inability to live a full life: the person loses a sense of self worth, cannot further build connections with other people.
Loss of interests: the co-dependent person forgets about all the things he ever cared about or was happy about. He lives to the detriment of his own life.
Difficulties in communicating: being in the alcoholic’s circle all the time, he loses the skills of contact with other people.
Forming an intolerable situation in the family: the person destroys the harmony and warm environment, aggravating the fact that there is already an alcoholic in the family. In building his own family may project co-dependent behavior on others.
Problems at work and in society: because of co-dependent behavior the co-dependent is not able to work and has unstable behavior.

Co-dependence interferes with the alcoholic’s treatment. His actions prevent the person who is drinking from recognizing his or her problem and deciding to treat it. The co-dependent needs qualified treatment himself.

There is a good chance that the co-dependent may become addicted to alcohol. He or she may soon start taking alcohol.

How to get rid of co-dependency
Treatment of co-dependency cannot be successful without qualified help. A psychologist can help you free yourself from the disease and shift your focus from the alcoholic to yourself.

Co-dependency is a shared disease, so it is impossible for one person to recover alone. Recovery from addiction must begin with the treatment of the alcoholic. At the same time, alcoholism cannot be treated on its own. The patient must be under the control of specialists in the conditions of narcological dispensary. There he will be selected an individual treatment plan, including getting rid of physical and mental addiction, the possibility of coding from alcohol, rehabilitation.

After the steps in treatment of the addict from alcohol are made, move on to the co-dependent. At this stage, he already understands that the alcoholic is able to cope with the addiction himself, does not need help.

The co-dependent must take the first step toward treating his disease – to admit that the problem exists. This is not always easy. As a rule, the person considers his behavior normal, saying that he is simply expressing concern for his loved one. Sometimes a psychologist can help in admitting the problem. To do this, you need to bring the co-dependent to a specialist, as he himself, in most cases, will refuse to help.

Psychological help for co-dependents includes:

Individual consultations and sessions;
group sessions;
Training to get rid of stressful situations, achieving inner peace;
Consideration of situations in the family from a different angle, to understand how a person harms alcohol addict.
Treatment of a co-dependent should be aimed at getting rid of guilt, anxiety and excessive custody over the alcoholic. Specialists teach the patient how to live his life anew, in his own pleasure, despite the problems of alcoholism in the family. Treatment helps get rid of fixation on the alcoholic and his problems.

Treatment of co-dependency at home is possible. Unfortunately, it is not as effective as treatment in a clinic.

Co-dependents are patients who need help just as much as alcoholics. A person with this disease can ruin the life of both themselves and their loved ones. To get rid of the disease quickly, you need qualified help from a psychologist.

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Whatever the personality traits of alcoholics, family members usually react to the heavy burden of living with them in a fairly well predictable way. These reactions can become as irresistibly compulsive as the behavior of the alcoholic himself, and as such they threaten to plunge family members into a veritable illness-even more serious than the alcoholic’s disease.

1. The family’s unwillingness to acknowledge reality
   The family of an alcoholic, on average, does not admit until seven years after there is clear evidence of his pathological addiction that there is an alcoholic in the home. They wait another two years before seeking help.

There is logic in this persistent denial by family members and close friends, however nonsensical it may seem. In the early stages of alcoholism, there are rarely obvious signs to distinguish an alcoholic from a heavy or even moderate drinker. When the first threatening symptoms do appear – increasing alcohol consumption, frequent intoxication, personality changes – those closest to the alcoholic are blinded by the demands of personal loyalty and fear of the social stigma of alcoholism. For each of us, it is much easier to dismiss the question of someone’s disturbing attitude toward alcohol as perfectly normal than to allow the possibility that someone we know and love well has developed a socially unacceptable addiction.

Several important factors contribute to his (the alcoholic’s) family’s distorted perception of reality:
(a) Isolation. It is rare to find a family in which there is talk about the presence of an alcoholic. Shame and embarrassment build a wall of silence around each family member and gradually cut off all but the most superficial bonds between them.

The family members deepen their isolation by withdrawing gradually from friends and outside interests. They learn from bitter experience that they should not invite acquaintances into their homes, and the fear of contingencies created by the alcoholic makes it difficult for them to enter into serious relationships with others. If the children of alcoholics have friends, they are often the children of alcoholics as well.

The alcoholic’s family world gradually narrows to such limits that very few people remain in it except the alcoholic himself and those who revolve directly around him. This creates even more favorable conditions for drinking and makes the family highly dependent on the alcoholic emotionally.
b) Emotional breakdown. Sooner or later the family members of the alcoholic fall into the same emotional discord that he himself suffers. They feel more guilty that the alcoholic is drinking “because of them” and that they hate the people they are convinced they should love and resent them. They feel uncomfortable and ashamed of the alcoholic. They are irritated by their own helplessness. Fear of the drinker’s unpredictable behavior is mixed with uncertain anxiety about the future, and increasing isolation creates feelings of loneliness and depression.

Family members of alcoholics rarely share their experiences with others. Instead, they repress their feelings, which result in a veritable pus of despair and self-loathing. Deprived of a real sense of self, the alcoholic’s family becomes increasingly defenseless against his manipulation.
c) The central position of the alcoholic. In a healthy family, no one is the center all the time. Attention is given to the accomplishments and needs of each family member, and there is a healthy interchange between husband and wife, parents and children.

The alcoholic, on the other hand, usually becomes the main object of attention in the family. Since his behavior is unpredictable and he is the “unknown factor,” all thoughts automatically focus on him. What mood is he in today? If he is sober, what can we do to make him feel good? If he’s drunk, how do we make him feel better? How do we not get in his way? The family is always on guard, trying to predict the unpredictable and hoping to keep a bad situation from getting worse.

As the family is in emotional turmoil and its isolation increases and as the alcoholic is at the center of its energies, family members often take the alcoholic’s view of reality as well. It is not that he drinks too much, but that his wife is grumpy, or his children are noisy, or his parents are unfair, or his boss is a real control freak. Family members involuntarily absorb the alcoholic’s bogus explanations, speculative constructions, and projections and, like the alcoholic himself, may deny his addiction, paying an unusually high price for his drinking. (6, pp. 42-53)

Survival Roles.
Every member of the alcoholic’s family, in one way or another, changes his behavior for his comfort and to save him from the consequences of his drinking.

Primary abettor.

The main abettor is usually the wife or husband, but it can also be a child or another parent, a close friend, or an employer.

In the early years of the addiction, the driving motivation of the main abettor is to love and care for the alcoholic. Often the wife, sensing that the husband really cannot control his drinking, tries to eliminate the temptation itself. She looks for hidden bottles in the house, pours liquor down the drain, dilutes hard liquor with water, and tries to arrange the social life of the drinking husband. She gets angry at buddies who drink and “tempt” the alcoholic and stops accepting invitations to booze parties.

Despite all these efforts, the alcoholic continues to drink. In order to survive and reduce the strain they believe is provoking the husband’s addiction, the chief abettor takes on one by one all the responsibilities that the alcoholic folds.

The well-meaning principal abettor creates an increasingly comfortable environment for the alcoholic to drink. He is fed, groomed. The alcoholic neglects the responsibilities of being an adult, and in return he receives all the comforts of life.

While the alcoholic is protected from the consequences of his addiction, the primary abettor feels more and more insufficient. She cannot control her husband’s drinking and her own emotions. She becomes depressed, moody, painfully sensitive, and irritable. She grumbles and scandalizes, when in fact she wants to be loving and kind. Her own intractable behavior increases her guilt and shame, and her self-esteem drops to zero.

Sooner or later the abettor comes to the collapse of her hopes. Tears, pleas, cries, pleas and prayers – nothing works. It is no longer possible to believe any oaths. In the absence of outside help, the main abettor and the other family members must now either break up with the alcoholic or establish a very dubious life around him.

The family roles of children of alcoholics

These roles include:

(a) Turning into an unusually responsible person;

b) becoming a “comforter.”

c) constantly adjusting or abandoning responsibility;

d) causing trouble.

By accepting one role or combination of roles, a child’s self-protective behavior compensates him for his parents’ inadequacies, covers up gaps in his emotional development, and brings a semblance of stability and order to a chaotic life. As children learn to trust the reliability of their coping strategy, they carry it into adulthood.

The Family Hero.

In almost every broken or dysfunctional family there is a child, often an older child, who takes over for the absent or overwhelmed parent. This responsible, substitute adult child cooks meals, takes care of finances, provides for the welfare of younger siblings, and tries to keep the family functioning as normally as possible. Sometimes this child acts as a counselor, resolving disputes between the parents and trying to mend messed-up relationships.

At school, the family hero is usually an overachiever. He may get better grades, have some responsibilities in class, or be a trained athlete. He works hard to achieve goals and earns the approval of teachers. Often he is a gifted organizer or he enjoys extraordinary authority among his classmates.

Overachievers become adults, the gaps in their emotional development are usually covered by intensive work and self-discipline.

Although outwardly these hard-working men and women appear capable and self-assured, inwardly they suffer from low self-esteem and insecurity.

“Scapegoat.”

Most dysfunctional families have at least one child whose name is hassle. For this child, rules exist only to be broken. He is so consistent in causing trouble that he eventually becomes the family scapegoat, diverting attention away from the alcoholic.

The naughty child has discovered an important principle of child development: negative attention is better than no attention at all. His self-esteem is even lower than that of his positively oriented siblings. He bases his fragile sense of self on the knowledge that he is “bad,” and he gravitates toward friends like him who have low self-esteem.

Because drugs and alcohol are a common focal point of teenage rebellion, the “scapegoat” often experiments with or abuses substances at an early age. A hereditary predisposition can increase the development of addiction even before adolescence ends.

In adulthood, the legacy of the past manifests itself in the form of resistance to guidance, defiant behavior, and at times uncontrollable temper tantrums and rages. Often “scapegoats” are willing to insult, to hurt other people. They often drop out of school, marry early or have an illegitimate child, avoid vocational training and get into debt that cannot be repaid. Despite their desire to be different, they become very much like their parents, whom they hate.

The “Lost Child.”

“Lost children” suffer from a constant sense of inadequacy in comparison to others, of being lost and alone in a world they do not understand, and in fact are even afraid of. They don’t even try to act on their own, choosing instead to “go with the flow. Their low self-esteem, their sense of peace is also visible externally: they are often shy and withdrawn. They prefer to be alone, having learned that dreams are safer and more satisfying than unpredictable relationships with people.

As an adult, the “lost child” continues to feel like a person with no choices or alternatives. He usually gravitates toward people as emotionally detached as himself, or marries a partner who recreates the chaos of his childhood.

The emotional detachment and apathy of the “lost child” is often mistaken for serenity. The adjusting child, unfortunately, accepts as a fact that he can never change anything.

The “family jester” or “family mascot”

These extraordinarily receptive children have the ability to turn even the most painful moments into jokes and are accustomed to neutralizing irritation and anger with a skillfully used sense of humor.

Growing up, family jesters often turn into unstoppable chatterboxes and unusually agitated people. Even in their most painful moments, they cover their deepest feelings with a joke. Only the most persistent and receptive of their friends manage to break through the veil of humor to the wounds behind it.

They may be very talented, but they do not know how to enjoy their successes even with others.
Definition of co-dependency
The word “co-dependence” itself is made up of two parts: addiction – loss of freedom, slavery; co-which means “together.”

Co-dependency has the character of a disease. It is a specific condition characterized by intense preoccupation and preoccupation, as well as extreme dependence (emotional, social, and sometimes physical) on a person or object.

Co-dependency is characterized by:

1. delusion, denial, self-deception;
2. excessive concern over someone or something while neglecting oneself, up to complete loss of the “I”;
3. compulsive actions (unconscious irrational behavior, which a person can regret later, but still continue to act the same way, as if driven by an invisible inner force)
4. compulsive need to perform certain actions in relation to other people (patronizing, suppressing, resenting, etc.)
5. the habit of experiencing the same feelings (self-pity, anger, irritation, etc.)
6. “Frozen” feelings and the problems connected with them in communication, intimate relations, etc;
7. inability to distinguish responsibility for oneself and for another (the adult is responsible for himself or herself to others, the co-dependent is responsible for others to others and to himself or herself)
8. loss of boundaries; the codependent allows himself or herself to intrude in another’s life the same way as he or she allows others to intrude in theirs, to decide for him or herself “what is good for him or her, what is bad;
9. low self-esteem, bordering on self-hatred;
10. health problems caused by constant stress.

A co-dependent is a person who has allowed another person’s behavior to affect him or her, and who is completely absorbed in controlling that person’s actions (the other person may be a child, spouse, parent, sibling, client, best friend, he or she may be an alcoholic or drug addict, mentally or physically ill). It is an attempt to gain self-confidence, an awareness of one’s own worth, and an attempt? to define oneself as a person.

Co-dependence is the most common disorder. It leads to disorders on all levels: physical, emotional, behavioral, social and spiritual.

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